one might say we're banned from that church
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
