scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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