I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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