I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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