U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
