Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
