If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
