I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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