He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Dick very happy bro
Randomize