why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
