Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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