remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
