NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
