His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
