remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize