I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
