my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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