I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
