if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
