you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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