ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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