sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Randomize
