tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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