I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
