I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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