Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
