His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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