i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
