So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
