Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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