69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
