we have officially lost it.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
