I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
