Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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