He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
We need to rekindle our bromance
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
how does that bad decision feel?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
