Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
