he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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