I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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