I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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