Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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