Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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