Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
organizing the empties. That sober.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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