____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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