So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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