The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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