lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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