I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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