somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
