And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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