hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
