My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
