i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
