just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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