apparently the secret to your success is patron
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
