And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
