So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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