But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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