Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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