dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Randomize