she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
