I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize