Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize