Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I am one with the molecules
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Randomize
