ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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