its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
